I've got a habit
And it's plain to me
Life can't go on
Without EP
Paper and embellishments
Piled up high
I love stampin
My oh my
I mask, I layer
I emboss and more
Then I'm back to shopping
At another stamp store
If I didn't have stampin
Oh what would I do?
I'd be back to housework
How about you?
Lock me up
Throw away the key
Or give me stampin
And set me free
The End
Stampers' Rules of Acquisition
(Original compilation by Deborah of the Rubber Stamper's Email
List - copied here by permission)
#1) You want it, therefore you need it.
#2) You need it, therefore you must buy it.
#3) All other things you need, including food, shelter, clothing, car insurance,
and lunch money, are incidental in comparison to what you need for stamping.
#4) Never add up the total for what you have purchased for stamping.
#5) "If you're not sure you should buy something.........for *whatever* reason........if someone else says they have it and *like* it........then you *have* to buy it!"
#6) If you are compelled to calculate total dollars spent on stamping and
related items, never count things that are not actual stamps.
#7) If you are compelled to calculate total dollars spent on stamping and
related items, never include items that cannot be traced via the receipt (ie --
office supplies are office supplies, gift wrap is gift wrap -- never mind where
it ends up in your house....)
#8) When writing checks from the joint checking account, always write
"S.W." in the check register.
You will know that this stands for Stamp Wares but DH will think it is Safeway
when he scans the checkbook to see where you have been shopping. And he KNOWS
groceries are expensive, and you need lots of them.... (editor's note:
Substitute the grocery store in your city
for Safeway; here it would be Sentry...[S. is for....])
#9) If a member of your family discards an item that is usable for stamping, you
may replace it. For example, your husband receives a shirt as a gift - if he
throws the tissue paper away you may purchase a replacement. You do not have to
replace it with the same white tissue paper. This applies to candy bar wrappers
that your kids throw away too, however they are not permitted to eat the
replacement candy!
#10) If everyone else wants it, then you must want it too -- even if you don't
know what it is. (case in point -- one word -- "blitzer")
#11) If everyone else wants it, even if you don't know what it is, and you
find it on sale, buy it ALL.
(Editor's note: This phenomenon is widely known as the SALE factor, and is the
only situation in which the Stamper may completely ignore Rules of Acquisition
#6 and #7, and announce gleefully how much money s/he has SAVED by purchasing
said items. (This suspending of the rules is dependent upon: a) the actual
percentage off, b) the total dollar amount spent c) the projected reaction of
partner/other interested party. For more detailed worksheet on Rule Suspension
see Stampers' Rules of Acquisition Handbook - Chapter 9, Sub-section C,
Paragraph 14, and model
on facing page.)
#12) NEVER, NEVER let your DH read the Stamper's Rules of
Acquisition........for reasons OBVIOUS to the seasoned stamper. For those of you
who are newbies....does "the gig is up"
mean anything to you?
#13) Reconciling yourself early to the fact that every trip to the stamp
store costs a minimum of $40, even if your intentions were to buy just
one sheet of sticker paper, will save you much anxiety and false guilt.
#14) Grabbags MUST be purchased at they time they are advertised. There very
likely could be
that ONE special stamp you cannot live without, and the others work for RAKS! If
you don't order
immediately, you may lose that special stamp.
#15) Keep *everything*, no matter how useless or ugly or small it may be. It
*will* become absolutely essential for a rubber project some day.
#16) When you buy something, use it before you read the directions.*
(*Acquisition reasoning -- if you mess it up or break it, you get to buy another
one...)
#17) You can't take it with you applies only to money. Begin getting
your loved ones accustomed to the fact that you intend to be buried with
your stamps.
18) Stamping is an inexpensive hobby. This can be proved by applying
"Blondes' Logic" to your stamping purchases. For example, no hobby
where
the supplies usually cost under $10 can possibly be as expensive as big
ticket, predominately male hobbies such as radio controlled airplanes,
restoring vintage automobiles, pro-team season tickets, etc. This just
makes sense.
#19) Every stamper MUST own every type of glue that is on the market. However,
s/he may restrict use to her/his favorite.
#20) Whenever a new stamp pad is made available, you must immediately purchase
every one of the colors in which it comes.
#21) When getting a stamp for a particular project it is imperative that you buy
the same image type
from a variety of companies (a minimum of 3 is recommended). Once you actually
sit down to
make the project you will find that it is much better that you have not limited
your selection to just one
option of the image.
#22) It is essential to have ALL the Fiskar edged scissors even if you know you
won't use anything but the deckle edge. You never know when having the Victorian
hearts flourish edge won't be PERFECT!
#23) Get all types of markers, don't limit your creativity to just Marveys and
LePlumes. Make sure you have a good selection of Tombows, Tria's and even the
cheap kind you buy at the market!
#24) The iron is NOT for clothes. Anyone who uses an iron for clothes is
excommunicated from the
Stamper's Union. (Editor's note: You may avoid excommunication by following
subsection B pursuant to rule #23 which in layman's terms translates as
"you may use an iron for its original perverted purpose only by purchasing
an auxiliary iron. However, only the old iron may be used for household
purposes. Aforementioned perverted purpose is not one that is condoned by the
Stamper's Union and should be performed ONLY by support staff personnel.)
#25) Tissue paper is for making envelopes and for hoarding. Never use it for
wrapping packages
unless you have stamped on it first.
#26) There is absolutely NO such thing as too much paper...of any kind.
Disregard nasty comments
about the two years worth of New York Times stashed in the boxes at the back of
the garage.
Corollaries here are: a-the complete set of National Geographics is worth the
$150...they are actually priceless. b-it is perfectly acceptable to save not
only the wrapping paper on your presents, but all
the wrapping paper on everyone's presents...c-EVERYHING is exotic paper and
should be
purchased and/or saved. Including the $24 a sheet stuff you saw at the specialty
store.
#27) If you think there is a ghost of a chance that you might use it in a future
project, buy it now.
Cause if you need it later, you can bet a) you won't be able to find it, b) no
one will have heard of it and c) there won't be a substitute.
#28) A stamper must purchase appropriate storage containers, shelves, bins,
units, etc., for all stamping related purchases. A stamper has the right and
responsibility to discard all previously purchased storage systems in order to
purchase a new, more appropriate system at any time.
Ladies if you have a new one e-mail me and I will add it.